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Coming Up on CFM/FFM and R.I.P. to my Wonderful Mother-In-Law

May 6, 2021

Coming Up on CFM/FFM and R.I.P. to my Wonderful Mother-In-Law


I am typing this out with a heavy heart – my dear Mother-In-Law passed away yesterday, comfortably (thanks to the amazing Hospice team), after battling many medical issues for the past few years and just getting clobbered with issues the past 2-3 weeks. She’s at home with the Lord right now and feeling better than any of us down here!

I am typing this out for some catharsis and as a hopeful tribute in some way. It’s hard to write about Mac Jones’s impact for the New England Patriots right now. It’s just not on my heart to do so. So, I’m taking to the keyboard to just talk about what’s on my mind. Don’t worry, I will swing out of sadness and give you a chuckle by the end…I hope.

You know all the old jokes about Mothers-In-Laws? Well, they have stood the test of time because they have more truth than fiction. But I have to say – NOT my Mother-In-Law. She was a saint of a woman. I drew a lucky card in the Mom-In-Law game of life. A Godly woman who raised Godly children (I married one!) with her Godly husband of almost 60 years.

I don’t have enough hard drive space to write of all the things that she and her husband have done in serving the Lord for so many years in so many ways. The example I will give, something she told me about in great detail this past summer…

She told me about the time, young in her marriage, and new to a neighborhood, that she felt led to start a ‘Kid’s Club’ out of her home. A bible-based night of fun for the kids, but with a Sunday School-like message for them to hear/consider.

She lived in a diverse (economic and background) area and opened her home to all comers in a time where that wasn’t as typical/normal. She didn’t know if anyone would attend when she started. Eventually, it grew, and she had a big sign created and would put it up in her yard on Club night and it became the place to be for young kids to come and play games, make friends, and learn about Jesus…and have a bit of a surrogate mom in the neighborhood. Some of those kids have contacted her over the many years later to thank her and share memories of how they were impacted by what she did.

Her and her husband have dedicated so much time to people and serving others, it’s almost unbelievable that people like that exist. But they do. One of them exists in heaven today – and I am happy she existed on this earth and that I got to know her and be a part of her family. It’s a sad day, but I also know – she’s the happiest and healthiest she’s ever been right this second. So, in another sense – I am so happy for her. She ran the race and graduated on. I’m sad but oddly content/happy for her at the same time – she is truly in a better place today.

Well done good and faithful servant’ doesn’t even scratch the surface of what she heard upon entry to heaven yesterday.

I don’t want to bum you out today with my problems. I really just wanted to honor her.


However, one of the ways I feel better, mentally, is ranting and raving about stupid things that I see around me or have happened to me. So, to lighten the mood before I get to the ‘coming up on FFM’ part – let me rant and rave, in honor of her.

Two things that happened to me this morning, that given the emotional nature of the day…it likely aggravated me times-ten more than the normal aggravation factor…

(1) So, I needed to return Amazon items at Kohl’s today. I hate having to do that, but sometimes my Amazon return shows the only ‘free’ return option as the local Kohl’s – 15+ minutes away. I thought it might be a blessing in disguise because I need to buy a new dress shirt for the upcoming services – because all my old dress shirts have magically ‘shrunk’ in my closet over time somehow. Funny the power of the closet shrinkage to clothes over time.

Also, note…I dislike shopping at Kohl’s with the intensity of 1,000 fiery suns -- but I was hoping I could save time and get a decent non-iron dress shirt made of real materials found naturally on earth. It’s a big ask, but I was hoping for it.

To my surprise, I turned the corner into the men’s section and saw a billion dress shirts on display. Lucky day!

Five minutes of sifting through the racks later, I realized that 999,999,999 of the billion were ‘slim fit’. Not just ‘slim fit’, but ‘slim fit’ AND short arm lengths with small neck sizing. I should’ve known…

Look, Kohl’s…I get what you are – you are the receptacle of the garbage that couldn’t sell at the regular store or at an outlet store. You’re like the outlet store for the outlet stores. I wasn’t expecting to find high fashion at you but -- know your damn customers!! I’ve been into Kohl’s 10+ times in 2021 (all to return Amazon stuff for free), and I’ve been in there many times in prior years – in all that time I’m not sure I’ve seen a slim fit human in that building in my decade of popping in and out of there. Why even bother taking up rack space with all that stuff?

So, if you happen to be emaciated and have the arms of a T-Rex – you’re going to love your shopping experience for dress shirts at Kohl’s. Everyone else…go elsewhere.

‘Go elsewhere’ should be Kohl’s jingle/motto.


(2) So, after my unsuccessful trip to Kohl’s – I decided to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things real quick and head home and get back to work and packing to travel to the funeral services coming up. I debated whether to stop at the grocery store because I have no time for nonsense, but it was right on the way home and just made sense.

I just wanted to go in-and-out in like two minutes for two items…

I scanned my items via my store app, because I’m technologically advanced and thus can escape quickly and easily through the self-checkout area. As I was heading to the self-checkout with my items ready for fast, touchless checkout – half of the six self-checkout spots were flashing trouble lights. Also, as I approached – I saw the real problem. Someone dropped a gallon of milk all over the place in the middle of the self-checkout area. OK, things happen…but just my luck.

Because I’m a crafty shopper, I know that there are more self-checkouts on the other side of all the checkout/register area…and it’s away from the main traffic area, so it’s never busy. I leave my ‘up next’ spot in line to go to the double-the-amount of self-checkout spots that were wide-open at the other end of things. Of course, when I got there, I found out why there were no people there…all the self-checkout spots there were all closed. When I raced back to my original self-checkout area…there was a traffic jam of people and their full carts watching the Milky Way clean up and waiting to get to a self-checkout spot.

Excuse me, why do you have 18 self-checkout spots in the store, but only 6 of them in the high-traffic area…and then they are the only 6 open of your 18? What’s the point of this ‘convenience’ if it’s an inconvenience to you/you want me up close to keep an eye on me? If it’s an inconvenience and you don’t trust me to scan all my items – then don’t have self-checkout!

Also, why is a person with a grocery cart full/overflowing with items going through the self-checkout? Of the self-checkout spaces still working/open at the time, I saw one person at an open space with literally 70+ items to scan. What time are you saving with self-scan if you have a cart of food to feed a family of 10 for a month? You have a postage stamp size space to work with to self-checkout with all that stuff to bag. The store had real lanes with human cashiers and baggers ready to help – but, no…you’re going to scan 114 items one-by-one and have no space to put any of it to bag it? That’s ‘convenient’?

There’s nothing like being in a hurry, stuck waiting in line at the self-checkout…and watching 182-items-in-cart-self-checkout-person flipping a box of Cheez-Its around 14 times, like it’s a Rubik’s Cube, trying to find the barcode to scan. LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS!

Also, thank you to the team of five people who cleaned up the spilled milk. It was nice/good to get right on it -- but where did these people come from, and how bout you hire actual clerks to help customers instead of employing a hidden S.W.A.T. team waiting for the once-a-month Exxon Valdez milk spill event?

I was there so long waiting to self-checkout with my handful of items that the milk was turning to a fine cheese. But eventually I escaped with my life/groceries…and got back to work.


Coming up on CFM/FFM…

Between the slow-arse grocery store visit and all the calls and planning and travel with the services for my mother-in-law, I’m falling behind in my timeline for all the post-NFL Draft projections, etc. I ask for your grace to allow me to get caught up in the next 1-10 days.

Updates on key items…


1) 2021 Dynasty Rookie Rankings…

We published 3.0 version, the top 125, yesterday. Version 4.0 the top 150+ will be out today and Version 5.0 Friday will get us to 150-200+ ranked.

After 5.0 on Friday, Version 6.0 will be sometime next week as we settle into a weekly update until training camp and the preseason hits and then we do more updates per week.

I’m adding the commentary on the top rookies as fast as I can. We’ll have the top 100+ with commentary before May ends. We have about 40+ top commentaries in there now.


2) Next Dynasty/Best Ball Update

I’m trying to get all the rookies loaded in and then all the aftershock affects from it, ASAP. I’m trying to get a first look/post-Draft projection set/published ahead of the 5/12 NFL Schedule announcement change that will alter all the projections.

I am hoping by 5/11 to have the next Dynasty-Best Ball-IDP full post-draft updates in – then the post-schedule set up projections by the weekend of 5/16-17…and then be on a regular weekly schedule until we hit the preseason August for more updates per week.


3) Grading the 2021 NFL Draft

I paused this project during the past few days of life happening. I love to grade the draft but it’s the least important project post-Draft, behind the DRD rankings and Dynasty/Best Ball projections.

I will grade and analyze the 2021 NFL Draft with our computer/economic model twists, as we do, but it will be out next week not this week.


4) All the other articles planned for May-June will be coming out after mid-May, which is normal…

Schedule analysis/Faux Season

New NFL Head Coach analysis

Off-Season personnel moves, team-by-team tournament

Special Dynasty reports on DOBB

More scouting reports on CFM

And more, all coming up on FFM and CFM this summer.


Also -- if I owe you an email, I’ll get back to you ASAP…but it might be a few days.

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About R.C. Fischer

R.C. Fischer is an NFL Draft analyst for College Football Metrics, and a football projections analyst and writer for Fantasy Football Metrics. 

Learn more about RC and the College Football Metrics system >>